redfox and drunkard.

20090511
16:56

Well, have been based on site for the past 5 weeks, lots of new things I see on site, and many more happened out of site. And it’s being a while since I blogged. Got some free time at site, mostly spent on fighting the Z monster, so might as well do up some entry for my stagnant bloggie.

It still amazes us on how we actually got together, and I’m still in the state of wonder… wondering how everything happened.

The initial piece of the jigsaw puzzle was an attempt to pick up some random girl on a somewhat normal party nite. I was attracted to her body language in relation to the pounding music. We danced for merely a few minutes… and those minutes changed our lives 3 yrs from then.

That piece of jigsaw laid there for 3 yrs, until the first morning of the year; just another drink-dance-drunk moment for me, but a disheartened one of hers. We were like strangers all over again. But with the involvement of a flirtatious catalyst, strangers became acquaintances. We had our first proper conversation.

Subsequent pieces of the jigsaw came in place, 3 months after forging the acquaintanceship. The longest cuppa session I ever had, result of our similarities. Sports, music, drinks, arts… that’s all we talked.

Fateful nite came with a casual initiative. 1.5 litres of grape juice fermented in cognac gave birth to the happy spirited drunkard redfox. All he knew was to enjoy, indulging so much that he let his feelings out too easily. With such ease that wasn’t taken seriously at first thought. No sane mind will actually. Neither did her. The ignorant drunkard persisted.

The persistence paid off when the sun rose on 4th April 2009.

The most constructive times were spent on the staircase of a hdb apartment blk. Nothing romantic, but it was where doubts are cleared and trust was awarded.

Despite the similarities, indifference exists. Outsiders’ perceptions don’t matter… as long as we know what we want.

The jigsaw puzzle will never be complete… the beginning is 5 yrs from now.

-redfox & drunkard lived again-

20090413
22:26

this site is quite dormant, so when i post i dun tink my frenz will noe oso... lol. ya, recently got some feelings to thorw up. though there's already some one for me to throw up to... but there're things i juz wanna tell the whole world tho everyone may juz turn deaf ears. it's ok!!! let me begin... ...

i always felt that i was cruel. the day she begged and i juz turned a deaf ear, though my eyes sweated profusely. i haf to make the decision not based on my heart but my brains. surfing through th emotional wave, i managed to pick up my not-so-fantastic braincells and complete the jigsaw puzzle. and finally i locked on to my answer... no matter how much i was moved. i was inhuman i felt.

was it plain selfishness that i was so desperate for a carefree life? or was it just plain annoyance of a relationship tt doesn't turn out to be what i really wanted? what would haf happened if i did not lockdown on my decision, and u-turned after going straight? i nv tried thinking of tings tt nv happened... coz there're too many possibilities. all i noe is: my happiness matters more. if i cant stay happy, how can i ensure the happiness of my other half?

i quite like my carefree life, until loneliness visited me. i had joyful moments, but there's no one to share. i had stressful days, there's no one to talk to. yes there're frenz. but frenz can onli satisfy ur emotional needs to a certain level. somewhere beyond tt point, you need a special some one to walk with you... and how do you define him/her?

what's special? some one who loves you, coz it's fortunate to be loved? people who flirt ard are always being loved, maybe for juz the nite. old men at their wife's funeral were loved too, but why till death?

i tried stating in words... describing the ger whom is worthy of my love and whom i'm willing to hold on so dearly. i always thot tt was juz a fantasy tt will nv come true. when it really did, i'd nv wanna let go. hw many chances do you come across a stranger wif many common friends, with similar interests, similar pastimes, similar perspectives. imagine life with such a person... i'd love to make frenz with strangers like this.

but she happened to be my baby gwen. loves.

-redfox & drunkard lived again-

20090116
01:53

it's being a long time since i grumble online.

i've just watched ip man. i got goosebumps upon the first fight. i was being hit like that before when i was 12. not by my parents, not by sch bullies. it was my first contact with martial arts. i did not enrol into a wing chun class, but apparently the master, master chen, was trained in this artform. he wasn't as spectacular as wat the movie portrayed ip man to be, which i do not know the extent of truth in the fight choreogrpahies, but he moves in the similar way. i recalled how we, the handful who took extra combat lessons from him, were always being pinned down by him, being slapped in all directions where we will never know how, and being lifted off our feet and realizing it only after landing back onto the mat.

i was then a kid. kids easily believe wat adults say, especially a role model. master chen once said bout some demon in the heart which will hinder you to become better, and it's important to overcome this demon. being a kid, i innocently believed. not the demon, but to overcome. it does sound stupid if some one tells me that now. but i'm glad that i met master chen. i may be too young to appreciate him back then, and i do not get alot of close encounters with him, but now thinking back, i wished i could have learned more from him.

i found sense of belonging in the classes. i was recognized for my efforts. everyone in the class knows i'm good, given my age at that time. not to boast, i may not be the best, but at least one of the better ones. this is wat i dun find at home. i was never appreciated at home. seen as the youngest, and incapable of many things. but these strangers acknowledged my potential, i was given the chance to teach new comers, at the age of 12... now thinking back... what the fuck a 12 yr old can do? but those strangers appreciate me more than my family ever did.

donnie yen as ip man. this brings me back to my childhood memories of watching the fist of fury series, the honky drama series adapted from bruce lee's fist of fury. donnie yen acted as a national hero, a fictional disciple of huo yuan jia (founder of chin woo athletic association), who fights japanese too. his moves back then seemed fake, which i feel that the production attempted to represent bruce lee's swift actions by fast forwarding. by the way bruce lee slowed down for the camera in his movies. a bad attempt indeed. but even so, i would always rush home to watch; halfway thru soccer games. when mom wanna cut my hair i'd get the trim in front of the tv. i might be the only series i had being so addicted to.

i could have gone on and on about my encounters with martial arts, but it'll just be like a blunt pencil. i feel that i've found my root.

links:
Ip Man the Movie - http://www.ipman-movie.com/main_en.html
Yip Man, Master of Wing Chun - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yip_Man
Information on Wing Chun - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wing_Chun
Who is Donnie Yen? - http://www.donnieyen.com/
Fist of Fury (1995) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKcBoLRX24I

-redfox & drunkard lived again-

20081209
02:14

juz read aze's blog... and i got tagged!!! this is brainless... but i'm juz as brainless at the moment... so let's do it dude!

10 random things about myself:

1) i dun like to talk... though being a tool of communication, i tink it's juz a form of entertainment most of the time. i dun need to communicate ALL the time.

2) i like ah lians! it's the straight forwardness, the vainity, the ah lian dance moves... but filter the out the fat n ugly ones.

3) i prefer cats to dogs. dogs look stupid. cats look more intelligent, able to take care of themselves without the protection of homosapiens.

4) i love techno! tt's wat i call groovy tunes.

5) my mouth produces vulgar literatures... nouns like the female and male reproductive organs expressed with the tongue of the hokkien ethnic group, and fornification under the consent of the king with your mother, in either the hokkien of cantonese tongue.

6) i dun need anyone to tell me wat i should do wif my life. the so called financial planners dun tell me the importance of saving up, coz u r wasting ur time n my time. i'm not ignorant, i juz chose the way i live.

7) i always have violent thots. like, stuffing the phone down the punk's throat when he plays music aloud in public, beating up anyone who looks ugly when dancing but thinks they r the centre of attention, slapping the kid who's screaming in public, and for the parent who cant discipline the kid, dragging the bugger who stands on the right side of the escalator during peak hrs, kicking the fool who sits on the floor near the door of the mrt in the face. fortunately i'm not a teacher. dun worry... the above mentioned act are contained within my skull cap.

8) i work better at night... like now... i can blog at 2.40am... not in the day... human should sleep in the day.

9) i dun like to strive for the best. getting better is enuff.

10) lastly, i watch porn! i noe most of my frenz w/ a dick does. i aint saint afterall.

now you haf read the above... dun run! u r tagged! the price of being kaypoh is to go do this brianless shit on ur bloggie if u haf one. i dun need to name u, u noe who u r. muahahahaha!!!

needa slp liao lah... nbcb... 5hrs to rise n shine. good night earth!

-redfox & drunkard lived again-

20081018
17:51

knn... super farnie... i luffed my tears out!!! lol!!!!!!!!

-redfox & drunkard lived again-